Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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