oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
