maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize