I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize