seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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