u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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