Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
