Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my shit smells like andre
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
