Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
