Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
