I'm going to jail i love you
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize