so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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