I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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