Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
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she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
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Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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