with your own penis?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
