Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
