Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
