i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
