I heard we made out
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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