I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We need to rekindle our bromance
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
