i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
