OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
