I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize