oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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