I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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