Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
a search helicopter?!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
