I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
