In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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