I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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