I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
