So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
