i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.