Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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