I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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