I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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