it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
