well you can't waste a boner
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
