I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
