can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
