well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My vagina just recognized that song.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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