i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
