1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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