I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
