Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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