i permit you to call me
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
