I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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