Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
