it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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