its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
