And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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