No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize