People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
