Where did you get a picture of my penis
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
