Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
