That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
