It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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