Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
