Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
