I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
