Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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