:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
