so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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