I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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