oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
