He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
