its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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