worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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