I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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