this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
