they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
