Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
