The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
