if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
