: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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