I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
